I need something new in my life, whether it is something that is a big change: a new band, a girl or something really small: cigarette brand, new socks. I find myself wanting something new daily.
At least I think I need something new. The last 3 months of me being inside my attic, I think people felt a bit sorry for me, being couped inside for 3 months. I, on the other hand, enjoyed every single bit of it. Maybe that's why I'm in Des Moines now, It's not far from home, but its far enough for me to be on my own and attempt to find myself. I need this change of scenery, this change of lifestyle. I cant wait to see if I can get a job up here, I think that would be the best thing for me. Even though I feel like I'm letting some of my friends down, just kind of bailing. I didn't tell anyone, I left way before I told people I was.
Being here, just makes me want to leave even farther though, head out to Portland, Texas, or like New York.
I wish I had the funds to do that.
maybe someday in the future I can, but right now, I'll just chain-smoke and enjoy where I am.
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