Tuesday, January 22, 2008

You outta be proud that I'm making good marks.

I'm in dire need of a cigarette, and of some attention. I need some love right now and the worst part is I cant even come up with a reason on why I'm feeling like this. I wish I had some sort of money, so I could get some cigarettes. I wish I wasn't and didn't feel so alone right now.

Move on to the next one, I'll move down to the next one in a line. [repeat].
That is how its been for so long, I gave up a long time ago of attempting to find a nice relationship. I can't do it, is it that impossible for me.

I don't know which is worse: [both which has happened plenty of times before]
knowing you can't have something with a person.
or having them tell you they don't want anything like that now, and end up with someone else weeks later or so.

I've slowly come to the conclusion that I'll probably feel like this for a while or even forever.
I'm 20, things will probably be like this when I'm 30.

I'm too pessimistic.
I wish there was some optimism.



Fuck,
I'm tired, I rambled, I'm lonely.

I'm going to take my medicine and head for bed. [or try to at least].

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